great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
