does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
