my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
