If that was your dad, he is hot
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
