Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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