ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
