dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Im part way to drunk.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
