By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
