Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
being pregnant is like rehab
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
