he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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