He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This house was built for laser tag.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
