I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
