You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
