He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
