It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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