tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
