yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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