we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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