I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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