They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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