just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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