So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
