YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
