I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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