yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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