My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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