It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
