so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
