have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
