Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
