Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
