hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she told me i tasted like america
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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