It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
