Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
