My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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