i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
