; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Even the bartender felt bad for me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
