am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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