I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You made out with two different species that night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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