I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
