I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she smelled like a LAN party
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
