just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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