Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
