Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
