i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have aggressive nipples.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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