It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
