Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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