U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And then the night went full on bisexual.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
