I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My life is pants optional.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
