I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
