my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
