In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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