wat bout pragnant strippers??
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
