Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
