Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
