This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
