How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I did not marry a roomba.
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