Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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