You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
